So, I was at work the other day, and listening to Pandora's Adele channel, when Lifehouse's song "Everything" came on. Now I've heard this song many many times before, but for some reason this time really tugged at my heartstrings. The song finished, but I wanted to repeat it and you can't repeat songs on Pandora. So I went to youtube to watch the skit. I realized that I need to focus on my inner self (spiritual self if you will) before I can make the changes I need to change my physical self.........
That was all I had down.....so yeah.
In case you haven't seen this skit, here it is....
Now for an update:
I'm not sure if I mentioned in any previous posts about my Tia Deanna, but my Tia was/is very near and dear to my heart. She had been sick for a while, and in the fall of 2011 I stayed with her in the hospital for about 2 weeks, and then another week or so with her at my grandparents house. I feel like I need to get everything off my chest about this, so what better place than here right? Here goes.....after she came back from the hospital she was up and down for a long time. For whatever reason, I felt like if I didn't talk to her that maybe she'd get better or she wouldn't get worse. I'm not sure what my logic behind that was, but that's what I was thinking. I avoided calling her because I would break down in tears and I didn't think that she needed to hear me crying because it would only make her feel worse.
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| Tia was FINALLY able to have something to eat. It was such a battle for her to be able to keep things down. |
I didn't see her for a long time, in fact I can't really remember the last time I saw her. All I knew was that I was....depressed. My weight went up because of it, because I kept eating away my saddness. In September, my co-worker and I decided to do the "One Day Diet" where you don't eat for the whole day, but you substitute protein waters for meals every 1 1/2 - 2 hours. Of course there was some weight loss but that's because I was starving myself. On September 5th, my Tia passed away. I hadn't seen her in months, and I hadn't really talked to her all that much either. I thought I would have all the time in the world to tell her how much I love her. My sister and I were on our way to the hospital to tell her we loved her and in essence say goodbye, when my dad called us and told us to turn around because she had already passed away. Needless to say my world was turned upside down. I deviated from my so called diet, and continued to eat away all the pain and saddness I was feeling.
By December, I was so unhappy with myself that I couldn't bear to look at myself in the mirror. Tyler and his family invited me to Kentucky for New Years, and I was so excited to go, but so scared about what they would think about the big girl that Tyler was dating. Of course that was all in my head, but I realized that if I wanted others to think highly of me, then I needed to think highly of myself. Side note, I had an amazing time out there. I would LOVE to go back to visit.
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| I got to help make my FIRST snowman ever! |
For the next two months I went back and forth with what I needed to do, and how I could make a change both physically and emotionally. I joined the choir at my church, and that brought me back to the days of doing gospel choir at Point Loma. Those were the days when I felt like I was connected to God the most. Once I started with that, I talked to my parents about something I had been bouncing back and forth about. At the end February we decided that it would be in my best benefit to at least try it out to see if it would work.
On March 2nd, I joined Weight Watchers Online. My starting weight was.......233.3 ( I almost cried....). Everyday when I eat something I track it, and count my points. I gave up soda for Lent, so no more sodas. I stopped getting seconds because it took away everyday points. The first week, I lost 10 pounds! I knew it was mostly water weight, but still 10 pounds! The next week, another 5.As of March 16th, after only 3 weeks, I've lost a total of 20 pounds!!!
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| This is me back in January.... |
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| This is me on Sunday March 17th.... |
The best part is, I'm starting to feel better about myself both inside AND out! No, I'm not a paid spokesperson, but I would highly recommend joining Weight Watchers Online if you are wanting something that is going to make a difference. I'm going to sound like a commercial right now but whatever....I can eat what I want when I want, BUT I can choose not to eat the unhealthy stuff. I choose to eat healthy, and track everything. It's so easy to cheat, but it's not worth it to cheat....and I haven't (yet--I say yet, because I'm only human). Doing this program had taught me how to eat, and what to eat.
Enough promotions :) I hope to update you (whoever you are) of more good news in the future. :)
Peace and love to you all!
